Hi Friends. Happy Saturday Morning from my house in Canada. Enjoy your day/night wherever you are and remember that God loves you RIGHT now RIGHT here.
Here is Day 3 Friends. I don’t have much to say. My morning sucks so far. I will say that Psalm 42 is one of my favorites and I will come back to read it better later. Have a great day and try not to let your day get ruined like I do. UGH……..
There was no reblog on Day 2 so hopefully the link above will help. 🙂 What a great reminder today was. Not only a reminder of what I learned in the last 5 years but a reminder of the problem I have with accepting my identity in Christ. It’s a such a huge thing to learn and “accept.” I still have a lot of issues from my past to resolve and I think it would be easier for me to do that if I truly believed I was loved by God. It is part of my prayer in my journal. The message from Steve McVey was so good too. I love him and his teachings have been so key in not only my growth but my sanity in some ways. I pray you will find something that you need out of today’s post and continue to be thankful for the things around you and ask God to show you what you need to see. Have a beautiful day friends! I love you!
Day 1 friends, let’s be thankful. I know I so often sit in my weariness and forget to be thankful. I have lots to be thankful but there always seems to be a “but.” I found that today as well. I woke up feeling quite optimistic. That’s pretty uncalled for for me. In my optimism though, I was worried. Worried it would be taken away from me because I don’t know how to hold onto it. I allow others to suck it from me because I always have been like that. I am praying that during this journey, I will be able to find a way to allow that NOT to happen. Anyway, the reflection questions are best to answer in the evening so I will do that in my journal tonight. Have a super duper day friends! It a mild day temperature wise here but the snow is blowing and the roads are horrible and icy. A great day to stay in and be thankful I have a nice warm house to protect me from the elements of the weather. TTFN
Good morning everyone. Today is a brand new day!! How about we rejoice, and actually be glad about it! Today is the day to simply ‘be thankful.’ No better way to start this 40 day journey than being thankful and living in response to all that He has given us.
As you go through day one, respond with ‘thank you’ to all the things you are thankful for, or for the things God brings to your attention. Here is an example: Do you love coffee, in your mind say ‘thank you’ to Jesus as you sip away. Open your eyes to all the things around you that you are thankful for. At the end of the day, look back and add up all the new things you recognized today. You will be surprised.
Enjoy the bible verse below, and enjoy the Journey you experience today!
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Here it is friends, the night before the journey. I’m very excited and very nervous. I believe more than ever that God led me to this place right this moment. I encourage you to watch the video. Its good and it’s a nice way to see Mike. It is his church sermon. It is about 32 minutes long. I will post again later in the day to share a little more about today’s message and how it affected me. Enjoy and Be blessed!
I’m assuming you have read the past three blogs, or at LEAST the previous one. if not, go back and read it now before you continue. If nothing else PLEASE WATCH THIS VIDEO FIRST. click HERE!!
Next step: It is important to know the purpose for doing this 40 day journey, so I’m providing you with a summary of notes describing how to participate on this journey.
There is no ‘sign up’ button, but rather you can follow on the blog, Twitter, or click ‘like’ on the Grace Walk Canada Facebook page and follow along there. Whatever you choose, do visit the blog each day to get some ‘encouragement’….
Purpose of the 40 day Journey is:
- Not to get closer to God
- Not to manipulate anything from him through ‘special behavioural changes’
- Not to diet, not to impress anyone, especially God,
- Not to create a new ‘system’ of what I have to do…
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But I am back and I am going to try something. I guess it was three years ago now that I started following a new blog at the time called A Grace Journey of Learning to Live Loved. I had heard of Mike Zenker though Steve McVey and Grace Walk. He is the head of Grace Walk Canada. I haven’t gone back and listened or read any of it yet, so I’m not sure if Mike did this series because it was around the Lent season but nonetheless, He started a series called a 40 Day Faith-bit Grace Journey. I decided tonight while I was lying in bed not being able to sleep that this is what I need to do. I need to take this journey again and what a great idea for me to share it with you. I will reblog them daily starting tomorrow. The first two might be on the same day. I will try and coincide it with Lent. I may or may not succeed. I will also share my thoughts…maybe and I pray that I will be able to do this. Depression and Anxiety have had a hold on me for so long and stolen so much from me. I just want it back. No, I don’t what what I had back, I want more. The struggle is real friends, but I will do this and as the days go by I will explain to you why it is important for me to do this. I don’t usually do posts at night and publish them but tonight I will. It feels nice to type again and maybe through this journey, I can learn to be transparent and actually do some of the writing I so desire to do. Good night precious friends. It’s good to be back!
A revolutionary idea: what if we reject what we think/are told we are supposed to look like and learn to love ourselves as we are?
Bell, Rob. How to Be Here: A Guide to Creating a Life Worth Living (p. 43). HarperCollins. Kindle Edition.
If you focus on who you aren’t, and what you don’t have, or where you haven’t been, or skills or talents or tools or resources you’re convinced aren’t yours, precious energy will slip through your fingers that you could use to do something with that blinking line.
One of the things that I find so disappointing about Christianity these days is the fact that we are so busy ousting people and working on including people that we aren’t sharing with people who they are and how loved they are. I guess in its own way, inclusion can be considered love. I would put that on the individual person because not everyone and everything promoting inclusion is doing it because they truly love… Having POWER is huge!
Since I have left facebook I have been on twitter and listening to Progressive Christian podcasts. I have enjoyed what I have been learning and a lot of the outrage makes more sense to me but like some of the Conservative Christians who are so angry at the Progressives…some of the Progressives are just as angry at the Conservatives and I personally find that tiresome to read, on both sides ( and friend, I can see and even agree with the outrage on both sides). I see hate among different kinds of Christians. It makes me very sad.
One very important thing that I learned in my counselling was that God loves me. It wasn’t said to me as a bible verse or in passing. It was explained to me that He really really LOVES me and if I was the only person on this earth, He would have still died..for just me. When you are in a place that you’ve hit rock bottom. A place that is so dark and all you feel for yourself is hate and contempt…words like that are not easy to hear and definitely not believable. When you hear this every week in counselling and sometimes in a text or two during the week from someone you trust and someone you see living what he is sharing with you…it eventually starts taking possibility in your mind.
Why do I share this? I don’t know. I guess I am looking for something. I guess I am searching for answers. As I write this I wonder to myself “what nerve do I have judging how other people live and explain their journeys? What nerve do I have complaining that I have heard but one person and one podcast episode that address *this? What nerve do I have when I don’t even do it?” It’s easy to complain about not finding something but like the saying goes…and I have said it before as have many others “Be the change you want to see.” Interestingly enough this goes right back to something I have been thinking about the last few days and I started a blog on it. It will be a while until it’s published though. It’s a pretty important one to me that I want to give extra time and care to.
Really though, it comes down to knowing who “YOU” are in Christ and from there the rest will flow. When you know how truly loved you are, to the very core of your soul…when you know that Christ indwells IN YOU…THAT is when you can make the biggest difference. That is when you know what it is like to truly love everyone including those who don’t believe the same way you do. I don’t have it down pat. I don’t think anyone does. I still struggle with self-condemnation and shame. They are the bane of my existence and yet I know they are lies. I know I am truly loved by God for who I am right now. No one can love me like He does. I still struggle when I look at myself in the mirror. I don’t know if I will ever have freedom from these lies and how they make me feel but I know that I have come a very long way in 5 years and I know when I look at others I see them totally different than how I used to. Somehow I can see them through the lens of Christ. I am using my Christ filter. That whole idea that the fruits flow out of us…that the love of God is like a fountain and reaches others…I can see that and I like it. I don’t always know what to do about it. It sucks being an introvert that suffers from massive social anxiety, but I feel that God has a pretty exciting plan for me. I have no idea what it is, but I know it will involve loving others because He First Loved Me.
*You are loved….truly, 100% loved.
Stay tuned as I write more on this. This is what is mulling around in my head so I might as well get it on paper and share. Have a most fantastic weekend friend! I loves you and oh man, God loves you so much more than I can even express to you. Sometimes I feel kind of stupid sharing that because so many Christians do share it, but I mean it from the very pit of my soul where the Christ is in me and I hope that you will hear that from your very soul as well. ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
Too Deep For Words: Rediscovering Lectio Divina
I was looking for a book on contemplative prayer and this is one if the three or four that were recommended to me. So far I am really liking it.
If anyone else has some books to recommend or some thoughts on contemplative prayer, please feel free to share.
Thanks! I loves You!
“Grace doesn’t depend on suffering to exist, but where there is suffering you will find grace in many facets and colors.”
― William Paul Young,
Hi, Friend! I am failing miserably at this whole Joy Dare Thing on here so I will end it for now. I’m better off stopping now and carrying on rather than beating myself up, which is what I do. I am just too tired to think. I haven’t had a decent sleep for weeks ( literally) and depression is at my door the last few days so frankly, all my energy is being used to keep it at bay. I have never been a good sleeper. The years that Wally was drinking, I not only didn’t sleep but I had major anxiety too. I still get night time anxiety but not near as bad as it used to be. I wonder if this is one of these things that is part of healing? It seems like it never ends, but freedom is worth fighting for so I keep on keeping on.
I was reading our local obituaries and noticed that a lovely lady that I loved passed away this week. She was 98 turning 99 in August. Our birthdays are the same month but she is exactly 50 years older than me. We celebrated them together two years in a row a few years ago. It made me kind of sad but it made me remember her too and the time we spent together…going for meals and praying. She was sweet. ❤
I guess that’s about it. I thought I had more to say and maybe I would have if I had written my blog first before listening to an episode of The Inglorious Pasterds. 🙂 Now I am just too bagged. It is 10:32 and I might just head to bed which is very unusual for me since I don’t usually go to bed until between 12 and 1 am. I figure there is no point laying in bed staying awake for hours on end. I have started using oils and night and putting relaxing meditation music on. Can’t hurt, right?
Good night friend! I’ll post a couple pics I took last night. I loves you!
It’s so easy to look at only the surface people and judge them, just on what we see and hear and that moment. I would say that I have experienced this in a negative way, both individually and as a couple with Wally ( more about that another time).
What makes me think about this is a Podcast that I have grown to LOVE. It is called the Inglorious Pastereds and they are what I would call Progressive Christians. It would be nice if we didn’t have to label people but as I am finding out, there are all kinds of people that call themselves Christians and they are quite different from each other in beliefs. Truth is, I don’t even hardly know what a Christian is anymore. I do know that Jesus wasn’t one.
Anyway, the first time I listened to these guys I was quite shocked and didn’t listen to them for a while. As I started to notice they came up on my feed more and more on Twitter I decided to give them another listen. I am so glad I did. You see…I don’t like cursing or drinking and because of that, I didn’t listen to them anymore. I hear cursing at home all the time and Wally was a drunk (his words) for most of our marriage up until two years ago. I didn’t want to hear it on a podcast. I’m glad I got over the hump and listened to them because they have really changed a lot about me, in the way I think (in a good way) and the way I look at the world and God. I swear that we as a society are just looking for reasons to not like each other. It’s so sad that we don’t even give some people a chance just because they communicate something different than we do and in a different way.
I love what God is doing in me. I love that my mind has become open enough that I can listen to others who communicate their truth in a different way that I do because I am learning new things. The hardest and most painful thing about a paradigm switch is the deconstruction but there is beauty and awe as construction happens in the midst of it and you learn the truth and you know it’s the Truth! I love that it’s the Holy Spirit who guides me into my new and different beliefs and out of my old. That is how I know it is the Truth. I also know as time goes on and maybe I share more, that some of my Conservative Christian friends will have problems with what I believe and I know I may even lose some of their friendship ( as we are already) but as I have learned:
What has been seen, cannot be unseen; What has been heard, cannot be unheard; There is no looking back.
My friend, I loves ya!
Check these guys out if you dare. Consider yourself warned. You might just learn something new and you might die from laughing, all in one podcast. They are on itunes and most podcast places.
3 Gifts Found In the Dark:
- An Orchestra of amazing music from the water wildlife and birds ( with an occasional coyote ).
- The knowledge that when you wake up it will a new day.
- God ❤
3 Gifts inside a closet:
- My husband’s clothes
I will have to try to be more imaginative and take pictures. 🙂
3 Gifts Found In Christ
It’s an interesting thing, this Gratitude challenge. It is Day 6 and out of 6, I missed 2. The whole idea of looking for something, in particular, is kind of a hard thing to get used to. After I am done writing this blog I will use my weekly Joy Dare list as the background on my phone; then I will see it and remember. It’s like starting a new habit. I won’t chalk this up to failure yet.
It’s a beautiful Saturday here in Central Alberta. My husband is working today ( and tomorrow). My kids are both sleeping. It’s so normal calling them “my kids” and yet when I do that on social media it makes them sound younger than they are. They are 20 and 17. I don’t plan to wake them up anytime soon ( it’s 10:30). No huge plans today. I might do a load or two of laundry and I need to go into town for a few things. That’s about it. I don’t lead a real exciting life. 🙂
Our landlords should be bringing their cows over soon. We usually get them in Spring until Fall. We love having them around. We are kind of cow nerds ( my husband more than I).
Oh yeah. Yesterday I sent in school registration for the very last time! Grade 12. With all the changes happening to homeschooling in Alberta, I am so thankful we are getting out of it now. It’s way easier to come into these changes rather than being in the system already, set on a certain way of doing things and then all of a sudden having to change. I agree with some of the changes but disagree with others. Luckily, for us, we can do things the same we have all the way through high school.
Well, that’s enough rambling for now. Have a great day friend! Don’t forget how loved and amazing you are. I loves you!
3 Gifts Before 9am:
- It was a nice bright beautiful day.
- The fact that I can get up, take my dogs for a walk, feed them and do dishes.
- I didn’t get up until 8:40.
Spring is here! The trees are budding, the grass is turning green, the temperature yesterday got to 28 celsius ( 82 F ) and today is supposed to be warmer. Last night we slept with the window open and I was woke up twice by the coyotes. I’m pretty sure they were in our yard very close. Duke went wild ( the feature picture is of Duke on my pillow trying to look out the window) and I could hear Massey wake up too. It kind of freaked me out that they were so close. I imagine once the cows are here, they won’t be around as much. We will see. Our first Spring and Summer here they were around and used to watch Duke and I out walking. We would see them watching us and Duke would bark at them. I got freaked out when the one barked and howled back at him. Last Spring and Summer not so much. I think we got Massey in the late Spring so he kept them at bay. Now, this Spring we have shop cats. Two of them, outside cats. Wally figures that is why they are around ( and the fact that Dukey is a little dog). We have to keep Massey on a rope because he has started wandering off. His nose and taste pallets have taken him to the Tees Bees Farm right across the road from us. So yeah, he has to be tied up now.
This is country life. I love it, even with the coyotes. I’ll just be happy they aren’t wolves! We don’t get them around here. Whew!
Have a super Friday friend! I hope where you are the weather is sunny. Somehow, a sunny day makes life just a tiny bit better. I loves you!
To what extent is your blog a place for your own self-expression and creativity vs. a site designed to attract readers? How do you balance that? If sticking to certain topics and types of posts meant your readership would triple, would you do it?
I love this question. I will admit, I like the idea of people following my blog. If I didn’t I would write a journal or a diary. Obviously, in my own mind, I would like to think that I am not the only one that struggles with the issues I struggle with and just simply try to live life in and among the chaos of life and this world we live in. So far on my blog, I have been somewhat transparent about some things but I am hoping as time goes on I will be able to do that more. Not for the readers so much, but for me in my own healing of my past.
Also, as my faith and spiritual life are deconstructing and reconstructing with the new and amazing, I would love to share that kind of stuff too but fear will hold me back because I know some (most) of my evangelical friends will not understand and think I am going bonkers. Yes, fear still has a hold on me in areas but I am learning that it takes time for some of this stuff to change in me.
Since this blog is still kind of new, I’m still not sure what I want of it and how I want it to evolve. I guess all I can do is be me and just continue writing the way I write and share as I see fit.
I love the last question: If sticking to certain topics and types of posts meant your readership would triple, would you do it? I would not do it if the topics did not define who I was. As much as I like numbers of who follows my blog (I think I am at 33…THANK YOU!) I don’t think I would be able to sacrifice me, my beliefs JUST for a bigger readership. I use this blog to work things out in my own mind too. My thinking is maybe someone else is there too.
As a summary, I don’t know where this blog will go. I don’t know what it will become and I don’t even know who it is for, really. I have it because I want to write and as I write I learn and as I learn I write ( sometimes ). I say sometimes because I have problems writing things I don’t totally understand because my words don’t come out very good. Since I write the way I think, it sounds all muddled and stuff. Maybe I will get the nerve to eventually share and write more of what I am learning right now, but for now, I will go on a day by day basis. Every once in a while an idea hits me for a blog post ( I write it in my book). This one is a prompt and it nudged me to think. I like that.
Hopefully, you can make your way through this and understand. If not, I’m sorry. My mind is muddled and guess what, it’s quite normal for me! I loves you!
3 Gifts Flat:
- I bought an Amazon card today and proceeded to get some Kindle books.
- I’m tired. I am looking forward to laying down flat tonight. 🙂
- This amazing note from my youngest son: (I did his laundry but told him the note only works once!) 🙂
3 Gifts Tasted:
- Amazing roast beef I cooked in the crock pot for Family Night
- never mind the awesome and easiest dessert ever of Rainbow Peanut Butter Squares
- My favorite snack Smartfood White Cheddar Popcorn
Sorry I didn’t get pictures. Trust me though, they were amazing!
There is something amazing about coffee. Something that makes so many people drink it first thing in the morning. Caffeine I imagine but besides that. For me, it is the yummy taste and just the whole idea that once I sit down for my coffee it is ok to start planning my day or at least thinking about it. I have taken the dogs for a walk and fed them and the cats (and took care of Massey and his cone of shame). I have done dishes and now I have given myself permission to sit and have a cup of coffee and a piece of cold pizza. I have been thinking about how I would write this post so here goes. 🙂
I am feeling pretty fine today. 30 days in a row (minus one) of writing/blogging. I have divulged more of myself than I was planning but some things you just can’t plan. I have been disciplined about sitting here every morning and writing. A couple of the posts I did write ahead time but for the most part, I wrote them that morning. I think in the future I will continue to do that but mix it in with a some that are planned ahead of time. I’ll just go with it. 🙂 It really worked with me to have a prompt to go with so I might just continue to use that for some writing ideas. I am still trying to find my mojo as a writer so I will try different things.
I love the thought that I finished Camp NaNoWriMo. I might have planned my intentions wrong so I may not get a badge ( oh, poor me) but I don’t really relish the thought of going through my blogs one by one and copying and pasting them to get a word count at the Camp. It’s not that worth it. I don’t need a badge anyway. I set a goal and finished it. That’s good enough for me. Actually, I took a screen shot and will use it as my feature picture. Very cool!
Well friend, thanks for being on the journey with me. I am looking forward to our continued journeys wherever and whatever they might be. It’s April 30, 2017, and it’s a GREAT day to be alive! I loves you!
I actually do. It is more of a Gratitude thing though. I will share three things a day that I am grateful for ( I will call it The Joy Dare). I will be following a list that is based on the book One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where you are written by Ann Voskamp. I will also link to her website that has the place where you can see her lists for the whole year or month by month. I will post a graphic of the week ahead of time so you can follow along if you want. I posted the first one today and will post it again May 1. Actually, I will use it as my feature post all week.
What I like about this idea, is it challenges me to look for certain gifts. Ann calls them gifts. You can call them what you want. Some of them are straightforward and some of them you will have to look for or watch for. That is why I will post them in the evening, instead of the morning. I tried to post the April blogs in the morning.
So, in a way, it’s a little easier and yet different than blogging a topic every day. I am researching some blog ideas and have one coming out May 1 sharing the podcasts I listen to. Something I am planning to do personally is a kind of journal. It is made to be a 5-year journal and there are 365 questions to answer. I guess the point is after 5 years you can compare your answers. I haven’t looked through all the questions but I think it will be interesting. You can find that on my Pinterest. Go to my Writing section or else you can message me and I can send you a link. I think it looks pretty interesting and who knows, maybe some of the questions will be a blog idea. That’s what is in May and then, whatever else kind of inspiration hits me.
So, my hubby is away for the weekend and his dog is at home with me wearing the cone of shame. I thought I might have to take him to the vet this morning but I can’t see what the vet will tell me to do that I am not doing already except maybe give me expensive antibiotics…just in case. Unfortunately, the cone fell off last night so it looks pretty nasty but I think if I can stop him from scratching today it might be ok. I’m sure if dogs thought the same way our kids do when they are teenagers and mom is being overbearing and annoying, Massey is not having great thoughts today. He misses Wally pretty bad too so I’m sure he is depressed too.
I love our Massey dog, but he has been way more high maintenance that I would like in a dog. I think I prefer little dogs over big ones and yet Wally wants to get more big ones. I have told him I would have nothing to do with any more big dogs. I guess we will see what happens. He is thinking about them for deterring people from coming in our yard to rob us. The crime is so bad right now in Rural Alberta. It’s nuts. I just don’t want any more dogs.
It’s a lovely day! The sun is shining and the snow is finally all gone. It’s kind of nice that Wally was able to get away with his brother this weekend. They went to visit their mom and siblings about 15 hours away. With it starting to finally be nice, once things dry up some the farmers will be going out and Wally will be busy doing small or big repairs. The only time he really gets a break from work is when he is away from home so the timing is so perfect. The rain and snow we have had the last few weeks have played into his plans good this weekend.
Last night my youngest son and I watched the first movie in the Lord of the Rings Trilogy. It is called The Fellowship of the Rings and we watch the extended version so it was 208 minutes PLUS breaks. We will watch The Two Towers today and it is 223 minutes. The Return of the King is 251 minutes. I’m looking forward to them but when you include breaks onto the length, it gets to be a long time but it’s good. It is time well spend. My son LOVES those movies and so do I. I guess that is what we will do today or tonight. Wally is due home early Monday morning or something like that.
I guess that is long enough. Have a GREAT day friend. Don’t forget how amazing you are and just how loved you are! I loves you!
MANGOS! My FAVE!
Now I feel like I should make a list of all things that would make my day perfect. Well, if there is one thing that I don’t do, that is answer questions in obvious ways. 🙂 The way I see it, why would I make up my mind today what a perfect day is? My Massey dog has to wear the cone of shame and he keeps trying to scratch him off and I keep having to do it up; my husband is away for the weekend and I am quite dependent on him in a lot of ways…..can today still be a perfect day despite these setbacks for me? If I have a quota, they can’t. If I live in the moment and I try to live out of who I am in Christ, then today can be a perfect day.
I used to try and imagine the perfect day. There were times I would think my perfect day was time away from my kids…that didn’t work. I missed them too much. There were times I would think my perfect day was time away from my whole family. I missed them too much though the times I did do that, they were pretty needed. That didn’t make it a perfect day though.
I’d like to imagine a perfect day in a tiny home, writing. The problem with that is focus ( more like a lack of focus). A full day of writing would not happen here. How about a perfect day being you do whatever you want, whenever you want. That sounds kind of selfish. I need to take care of someone or something.
What I would like is for today to be my perfect day. The day that I live TODAY. Even if my circumstances SUCK. To some it up for me, a perfect day is a day that I can look back on and say
– I did the best I could with what I had.
– I learned something new today
– I did the next best thing no matter how small it was
– I am alive, therefore my purpose is still alive.
– I am loved!
Do you have a perfect day friend? Never feel bad or selfish because you answer a question different than I do. Remember, this is my blog so I talk a lot about me. It gets kind of old for me. 🙂
Have a super duper perfect day! If you want to read some really great uplifting quotes, google Winnie the Pooh quotes. Oh my heart! I loves you!
I loves you, friend! ❤
Ideally, I’m just happy winter is over. 🙂 By the time Spring comes it is time and I feel it, and I think most people do. I don’t know how it is in places that don’t get snow in the winter, but there is definitely four seasons here in central Alberta, Canada though they have the tendency to interweave with each other at times. I think the only month I have not seen snow here is July.
Spring. Renewal. That’s what I like about Spring. Renewal is something that happens every day but in Spring you can see it. Birds coming back from the south, baby birds, baby wildlife ( I live in the country). The time before the buds on the trees come and the grass turns green is pretty ugly. It’s dirty and we need rain to wash it away so the new growth can come. Luckily, that ugly time usually isn’t too long. Geese! I love them. At our other place just a few miles away I heard them once in a while but we are further into the country here so we hear them and see them. They fly right over our house and we have a huge pond in the field where there go. We don’t get too many in there. Just 4 or 5 but I just love them. This morning when I took Duke for a walk we were watching them. I also love the ducks that go into that pond. I love how they sound but they usually fly away so we have to be VERY quiet. Not easy with a dog or two. I have grown to love our outside birds and watching them and learning about them. It is so cool when they babies join them.
One thing that bugs me about this time of year though is we live across the street from a bee farm. Right now all the hives are laid out on the lawn waiting to be delivered to places around the countryside. In the meantime, the bees think they should come here. When the sun is shining really bright you will find the bees at our back yard. Tons of them. UGH! They aren’t there to sting but that many of them are so annoying never mind the fact that I have a kid who is allergic to stings. Luckily, once they are delivered to their summer spot the rest of the time is fine, until late Fall.
There is something that affects a person psychologically when Spring comes too. There is a feeling that Spring brings more than new life to the things around us, but perhaps us as well. There is hope when a new season arrives. Hope that maybe we can move onto our next season as well, a rebirth that says, ” let’s try this again.” I like that. It’s a second chance. I think that is my favorite thing about Spring…HOPE! It reminds me of a sunset. The end becomes the beginning and it is really sweet. ❤
What is your favorite season? Why? Have a wonderful and blessed day. Enjoy the renewal of not only a new season but a new day!! I loves you!
This will be a totally fun post with few words. I will post some pics from the app FaceApp. One comment I will make is that it freaks me and my youngest son out how much we look alike when I am in the “man mode” picture. Also, my old self looks very much like I do now. Excuse the picture. It’s not a great picture of me but it makes it even funner. 🙂
Oh my GOSH! Too funny! The teeth ones are so funny. My original picture is the top left one in the collage. If you are looking for a good laugh, try this.
Have a super duper blessed day friend! Smile big and if you don’t want to, use the FaceApp. 🙂 I loves you!
It’s not a thing that holds me back, it’s a person and that person is me. My thoughts and fears hold me back.
My thoughts that are lies. Lies that I am not good enough, that I can’t do it for whatever reason. My thoughts that say it’s too late. The “not good enough” lie can show itself in anything. If you believe you are not good enough then that is the way you will act. Friend, that is a complete lie. You are good enough and can do whatever you want to. It’s in your hands. Change your thoughts. Know the truth and believe it.
My fears that are fears. Fears that won’t allow me to try something new. Fears of failure and not making it the first time. Fears that talk way louder than any of my positive thoughts and meld together with the deafening sound of the lies.
They are best friends; my thoughts and fears.
The beautiful thing is that this doesn’t have to be the end. I can change my thoughts and I can fight my fears. AND that’s what I do. I have made it my beginning!
What holds you back my special friend? Fight it!!!
I’m Cheering you on my friend! I loves you!
I didn’t even make it to my computer yesterday. I was off running first thing in the morning with my husband and then by the time we got home it was time to get ready for Family Night and enjoy the evening. It was a GREAT day!
Minimalism in my Life: I was so excited for this one and yet late. Weird how that works.
Since I discovered “minimalism” things have changed in my life. The first person I came across was Joshua Becker at Becoming Minimalist. I was getting his emails and read his book The More of Less. I forget if it is through Joshua Becker that I heard of The Minimalists. That would be Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus. You will have to go to their website to hear their stories. They are worth checking out. There is so much great information on their website. It is there I learned of The Minimalist Game. You are basically getting rid of things every day of the month based on the date. I played it for two months: February and March and got rid of 929 things. It was so freeing. I was so ready to do this. It was time. Not because I had tons of stuff but because I wanted to minimize my whole life and this seemed to be the way to start it. It worked GREAT! In a physical way, how it has affected me most is in the way I shop. I was never a big shopper but sometimes there are things I just want, just because I have the money to buy it or else it is a great deal. I have learned to distinguish between what I need and want and I am learning to bring those two terms together and in some
In a physical way, how it has affected me most is in the way I shop. I was never a big shopper but sometimes there are things I just want, just because I have the money to buy it or else it is a great deal or it’s just plain cool. I have learned to distinguish between what I need and want and I am learning to bring those two terms together and in some cases, they are the same. I am happy about that. It has also caused me to research more what I am shopping for so that I get not only a good price, but it’s a good item that will last me. For example, I am on the outlook for an electric roaster to also use as a crock pot. I want to buy something that I know I will use lots. I am taking my time because I already have a crock pot I can use. Another example is my wardrobe. I am still in the process of getting rid of things and adding things. I am on the outlook for tee shirts that I am happy with and so far haven’t found any. I do have a gift card at a store in the city that I think will have what I want. I just haven’t taken the time to go there. My goal is to have a small wardrobe that I wear everything and I love everything. These are the biggest changes I notice in me about minimalism.
On a different level, it has and is helping me with discipline. Playing The Game two months in a row every day had me doing something every day and I actually did it. I’m not that great at finishing what I start so this so was encouraging for me so I decided to do something this month as well, on a daily basis. That is where this 30 Day Challenge came from. Today is the first day I have been late but I refuse to beat myself up over it. In fact, if I could give myself a pat on my back, I would! You Go Self!!!
Spiritually, minimalism has taught me about meditation and prayer in a different way. I have already been going through a paradigm switch with my faith, but add minimalism and hearing some of Josh and Ryan’s thoughts on stress and anxiety and how to handle them has been invaluable. Going into this I already had an open mind to hear new ideas and I am so thankful that that. Since Christ is in me, He is on this journey with me and for the first time in my whole entire life, I have moments of peace. Better yet, I am understanding that peace is not something you achieve, it is a state of mind. It is Christ in Me.
Oh friends, if you decide to check this out, let me know. I do not call myself a Minimalist but I love many of their ways and they have made their way into my life. I am so grateful, so so very grateful!
Have a super duper blessed day friends! You are so amazing if you have come to the end of this blog. It’s the longest one I have done. 🙂 I loves you!
I wish people would be kinder. It makes me so sad that we are so ugly to people just because they think different from us. There are so many diversities of people in the world and it is natural to flock with like minded people. I don’t have an issue with that. My issue is when this community of like-minded people are nasty to those who think different than them. Unfortunately, this is a humanity issue. Every group does it. Maybe not everyone in the community does but as a whole they all do it and it looks bad for everyone in that group. That is why we have wars. Right from Day 1.
We can’t control what others do. That is what is causing all this anyway. We need to step up and take responsibility for our own actions and decide what we do have control over. I don’t have a problem with peaceful marches but if there is nastiness, I think it’s wrong. I am intrigued with the Science March that happened this weekend but I (this is my own opinion) wasn’t too impressed with the Women’s March that happened a few months back. I know even in that, there were those who were kind, but they don’t get shown much on media. It’s usually the ugly people that sell the news best.
What can I do? That’s the question we need to ask ourselves. Maybe marching is your thing. Maybe it’s not. That’s ok. We all answer this question differently. But one thing we can ALL do is to be kind to each other. It is so tiring…everything is set up to divide. Politics, Religion, Sexual Orientation, Race, Gender, Wealth, never mind all the little things that come out of these issues. I’m sure there are more but I can’t think of them off hand.
I honestly believe this quote. Even if the world will not change because of something one person does, you may change the world of one person and in my opinion, that is worth a whole lot more. Even if you will never know how you have made a difference in that one person, you will be able to sleep at night and your quality of life will be way better and way healthier.
Friend, What do you wish for? Please feel free to answer this question. I found this a hard question to answer.
Have a super duper blessed day friend! Enjoy your day even if it’s snowing (it is snowing here today and last night…UGH). I loves you!
This is an easy/hard one. Easy in the sense is there are lots of things and hard in the sense of keeping it down to one and not so many details that I put myself out there too much. I was never good at balance…HEY that is the one I will choose!
If I could change something it would be that I would be more balanced as a whole and in little things. I am an all or nothing kind of girl. Always have been and as I’m getting older I notice that it is in everything. It’s like I do one thing in the moment and my whole life has been and will be affected by it for the rest of my days. If I am not perfect at anything (and actually I am not) my way of looking at that is I am not good at ANYTHING. This lack of balance that I have holds me back from trying new things, meeting new people and well, going out anywhere in general. Lack of balance and anxiety but that is a whole different topic. 🙂 See, told ya. Lots I would like to change.
So, “if I am not perfect at something I am a failure at life.” That is such a horrible mantra but one that I have brought through life. It is only through counselling that I have been made aware of this and I have been trying to deal with it ever since (the last four years or so). I never felt like I was good enough or measured up. I know why I am this way and it is still a struggle but I have learned it is a “LIE” and some things are only in the eyes of the talker. Just because someone sees it this way, doesn’t make it so. But it gets buried into the deepest of hiding places in your soul and festers. It’s tough.
But I do want to say that I have made some headway in this area. I am learning to balance this out in a realistic and truthful manner and that is helping tonnes! I’m still horrible at balance but I guess that will be a life-long struggle, situation to situation.
I will share with you how I am learning the lies of that horrible mantra. I am learning and starting to believe in tiny bits, who I am in Christ and most of all, that I am loved by Him 100%, no matter what. It doesn’t matter what I say or do…nothing I can do can change His amazing love for me. My whole life I felt unloved (not saying I was unloved but I felt I was), not only by God but by friends and family. It had festered so long that I was unlovable, that I was unworthy of anyone’s love including God’s. So now, to discover how wrong I was and not only that, to discover that even though I thought that about God, it doesn’t change how He feels about me. I am not only worthy and lovable…I am WORTHY, VALUED and LOVED! Once I started to grasp this, it made a huge difference in not only how I look at myself but how I look at others! Friend, you are WORTHY, VALUED and LOVED!
Anyway, that is my story and I am sticking to it. 🙂 I don’t want to turn this blog into a religious one but it is important that you know my faith my identity and worth in Christ is the reason I can and do write this blog. I give Him the glory so don’t be surprised if in the future you see me talk about more faith stuff. For now though, my identity in Christ is what is healing me.
Oh friend, I hope you know how much you are loved!!!! I loves you so much!!!
It’s been a pretty cool April!! Brrrrrr!
In no particular order (except for the pizza):
Pizza ( my very fave!)
Cheese and Bean Burritos
Tacos (real authentic ones from Mexico)
My favorite kitchen appliance is my George Foreman Grill. My oldest son uses it a lot too. He always says that the first thing he will do when he moves out is to buy one. They are so handy and you can use them for anything.
It is another cool and cold April day in Central Alberta. My son has been on Easter Holidays and goes back to school (well, starts school anyway) on Tuesday. We have one more push and then he is done grade 11. We will probably end school in mid-June. This year has just flown by!! Oh how the years go by quickly. I used to think it was a cliche but it is the total truth! ( wow, that’s a paragraph with a LOT of short sentences)
My husband works on Saturday and we will get so see some great friends on Saturday night. That is pretty much our weekend planned.
Have a super duper Friday Friends! Smile, cuz you can! I loves you!
It was two weeks ago at my appointment with the Diabetic Nurse. I was ashamed, embarrassed and felt like a complete failure. Originally when I found out I was diabetic it was all about exercising and eating right. What they failed to tell me was it ain’t easy. At the time I found out I was diabetic I was starting counselling for depression, sick and tired of an alcoholic husband and enabling him and worse of all, found out I was in that “perimenopause” time. UGH! Never mind the fact that I wasn’t active before all this. So then, finding out I was diabetic and gung ho on eating right and walking. I was good for a while. Winter comes ( horrible for depression ), motivations goes, Fitbit breaks. So many excuses and yet, it’s life and it happens.
You know, I am not looking for advice when I share this with you. In fact, I don’t necessarily appreciate it because you don’t know what I have tried and why I haven’t tried something else. It’s one thing to share what has worked for you in similar circumstances and I am all for that so long as it isn’t trying to “fix” me. My story is more than the surface of what I share here. It goes deep into the whys and hows and there is much healing that needs to take place and is taking place, as I speak. Sometimes I am so overwhelmed that I have no desire to do anything. That is ok. It’s my story, it’s my life. It’s one of the reasons I quit sharing in the past. Anyway, the truth is, this blog isn’t meant for me to look for answers so much is it is meant for someone who is reading it to know that they are not alone. S$%t happens. Life happens. Sometimes there are answers and sometimes we just have to sit back and wait for it to calm down. And sometimes, that is what our whole life is…back and forth.
We can’t sit in this place for long though. We have to remember the part that life does go on. We need to go on. This moment will fade away into another moment and it may be better. That is why we can’t dwell on the yuckiness we feel. It is only very recently that I can say and truly believe, in the moment, that it will be ok. I will be ok.
So, I cried to Leslie (nurse) and she reassured me that I was doing fine and to make small changes at a time. I left there feeling way better. I bought a new Fitbit and I have been making small changes again. A little bit at a time, I am feeling better. Spring is here and that helps. It’s actually sunny today and I can hear all the birds ( and the cows will soon be here!) and last night I was out with one of our dogs and we listened to the frogs, the night time birds and the coyote puppies. Yes, Spring is here and I am so thankful!
Friend, you are Amazing! There is not enough ANYTHING that can measure up to the Importance and the Worth that you are. I know what it feels to feel less than. It is a daily struggle I have. It needn’t be though and I am in healing. You can be too.
Have a Super Duper Blessed day my Amazing Friend! I loves you!
Hi Friend! I have to make this quick because I have a killer headache today. It was migraine mode this morning which is why I am late getting this up.
There were two different ways I was thinking of answering this. One was a deeper way maybe in some ways more the transparent truth when it comes to truly feeling better. I will save that for another day though because I am not feeling well right now.
When I am feeling down or “meh” there are four different movies I watch. Not all in the same sitting of course but each one, in its own way, make me feel happy.
There you have it! Do you like any of these? If you want, link up your favorite movie or you go-to that makes you feel better “every time!”
Have a beautiful day! I loves you!
Keep in mind when I am sharing things on my blog I am sharing them from my perspective and my life and the issues I talk about may look different from how you see them. Even though I am (de) and (re)constructing my religious beliefs right now, doesn’t mean that my faith is not important to me anymore or that my relationship with God is severed or anything like that, it just means, in my mind, that the Truth is becoming realer and righter to me. 🙂
This question can and does go hand in hand with yesterday’s blog.
Things that make me scared:
1.The thought that I will have to live with depression for the rest of my life and go on drugs for it. I don’t like that thought at all and brings some fear to my life. I have a taken a few kinds of antidepressants and they were awful. In my case, I believe my depression goes hand in hand with my religious beliefs and I have found as I am learning new things ( that I am Truly Truly loved) and realizing some of the lies I have been taught, my depression has been less. Maybe it is just wishful thinking but this is one of these issues that..this is how I see my depression.
2.The thought of going back to the lifestyle we had when my husband was drinking. Meaning, Wally drinking again. I hate that idea and it scares me.
NOW…I want to talk about both of these fears. Do you notice I start them with “The thought”? I am already giving these issues fear over me because I am thinking about them. I will go as far to say is I am already formulating ideas in my head as to how to deal with them. THAT my friends is called “future tripping” and it is a bad bad idea! Neither one of these things have happened and to be honest, there is no reason that I can see that they will happen in the unforeseeable future. So, I live my days as if they have or will happen and then if all of a sudden it does, I live through it a second time. It is so stupid and it is something I have done my whole entire life. I have killed people off during these thoughts. It is so nasty and might I say, more common than I have ever known. So many of us are missing out on our lives…the here and now .because we are so concerned about what “might” happen. It totally blows me away. I have no control over either of these issues. Maybe, in a way, the first one, but definitely not the second one. A few months ago I was fretting over my fear of my hubby drinking again. I was in rough shape because it definitely makes me physically ill because of the anxiety. All of sudden I heard “I will always be with you and take care of you.” God reminded me that I was never alone. If the time ever comes, I will be ok.
You know, this moment is the only one I am guaranteed. We never know what will come and when our time on this earth is done. We have right now. Join me friends in living it with Thanksgiving rather than worrying about the future. For now, it will be ok. ❤
Happy Tuesday coming from a very snowy Central Alberta, Canada. Brrrrrrr I loves you!
What am I not worried about? Unfortunately, my worries can turn into fears thus the overthinking and future-tripping. With alcohol being a regular thing that has been around our lives since we were married, I have done so much worrying and future tripping. Maybe I will share more about that in another post just so you can hear one story of a wife married to an alcoholic (might I add…in the church).
I’ll put that on the back burner for now and talk about the here. 🙂 What am I worried about? I worry about my kids getting hurt while driving. I even worry about the guys getting hurt on the job even though they are safe. I worry about what my life will be like after my youngest is done homeschooling in a year and what in the world I will do and where I will fit.
I worry about my health as a diabetic with high blood pressure (and overweight). I worry about what others think of me and how they will react to what I say and do. See, there isn’t much I don’t worry about.
I think when it comes right down to it, I worry about everything I have no control over. I hate to admit it, but I would love to have more control over what happens in my life. I don’t though because other people are involved and some things well, some things are just not controllable by a human being. At the same time, would I really want control of everything and everyone in my life? That sounds like a huge responsibility. Talk about having to take meds. Yikes.
I know that my worrying can and has really influence my health, not in good ways. I have become literally physically sick because of worrying. It has now become chronic anxiety and THAT is not fun at all!!!
As a Christian, I am told not to worry. “Give it to God,” they say, “you’ll feel way better.” Sometimes that has worked. I am just in the habit of taking it back and worrying double over it. “ If you can worry,” they say, “you can pray” That’s a good one and even might be Biblical. It is said so flippant and in ways that make it sound so easy. It’s not easy. I have considered trying meditation. Not so much the Eastern Culture meditation, though, the same technique but not being emptied and filled with nothingness as compared with being emptied of the garbage and filled with God. Now, that sounds weird to me because God is already in me, but to empty myself of the garbage, I can get behind that idea. I don’t know what stops me from trying that. Maybe it might actually work at calming my nerves. There was one time I was in the Dr. Office ( about 4 months ago) and was having my blood pressure taken. I just sat there calmly chanting “Jesus” over and over again and made sure that was all I thought about. My BP was totally normal and she took me off the meds. I don’t know if my BP normal had anything to do with my meditating but the results, in the end, were favorable.
Anyway, I do know being still will the Lord is calming regardless of what you call it. Maybe I should do it way more and just quit worrying! Wanna join me? 🙂
Have a super duper Monday! Smile because it’s the only Monday of the week! I loves you!
Mike’s note: This is one of my favorite poems celebrating the unexpected splendor of new life out of anticipated death. Happy Easter, all you resurrection artists. God is alive, magic is afoot God is alive, magic is afoot God is afoot, magic is alive Alive is afoot, magic never died God never sickened Many poor […]
I really like this question now that I think about it because it has really evolved over the years. I remember when I was working for Mohawk and I was a single gal. Of course, I watched for “the one” and interestingly enough, I actually found him while I was working there. 🙂 As a cashier the first thing I looked at was hands. I don’t know why. Back in the day, good looks helped (just being honest) and eyes and well, your attitude played a big part in it because if you have ever worked retail, you know how people can be. Yikes…even the most gorgeous of people can become ugly because of the way they act. I met my guy there and didn’t look for men anymore. 🙂
Throughout my life since then, I have been attracted to those who have the same beliefs as I do. While I was attending church, my social life in and out of church was other Christians. I don’t think that is unusual. As we ran into issues in church (My hubby and I have always been misfits) I realized just how unattractive some of those people were that previously weren’t. All of a sudden when some people find out you think different than them (or act differently), they turn into totally different people. I know my depression has turned some people off of us just because I avoided them, but that is a different issue.
It was during counselling for depression that I realized what kind of people/person that I am attracted to. People who are accepting of others no matter what they believe (hey…that’s GRACE) and bigger for me yet….Kindness. I had never even experienced that myself until I was in counselling. Not that people weren’t nice to me. Of course, they were. But there is something special that comes with an understanding of who you are in Christ that shines outward…and THAT is Christ himself in us…Shining out! I had never seen it nor experienced it and wow, when all of a sudden kindness was coming my way in ways that made me feel worth something, I realized that there was way more to God and way more I needed (and wanted) to learn and know.
I have found by meeting and talking to a few people who have this grace/kindness that I am talking about, that it is something I want to and try to emulate and even more so, allow Christ in me to shine outward and let Him do it. I have found there has been a change in me and strangers react to me different than they used to. People that know me??? Since I have trust issues with most of them, I don’t see much of them anymore. It’s too bad and I will blame myself for that but it is what it is.
Anyway….KINDNESS. Be kind friends…you just never know the journey that someone else is on (even if you know that person).
Don’t be dumb, treat them kind anyway. ❤
Happy Easter Friends! He is Risen! I loves you!
I guess it would depend on your interpretation of weird. When I am alone I eat food I shouldn’t eat. Sometimes I even stuff myself until I am sick but I am working at NOT doing that anymore. So much of that depends on my mood and why I am alone and what is happening. I also watch Musicals: Hairspray, Mamma Mia and Grease and my favorite non-musical: Julie&Julia. I have seen them all many many times. I am currently watching the Live versions of Grease and Hairspray. 🙂 I guess that is mainly it. I don’t think neither is too weird. I think the eating one is an emotional problem more than a physical one and one I am currently working on stopping, mainly by trying to find healthier foods. 🙂 The movie issue has become a joke among my hubby and kids but sometimes I don’t take it as a joke and I feel like a freak. That is why I will start watching the movies WHEN they are away from me. So I like watching certain movies over and over again! Sue me! Just wait until The Shack comes out on video!! I’m VERY excited for that!
Yesterday was Good Friday and we went for supper at my parents’ place in Red Deer. My sister and her husband were there and my oldest son brought his girlfriend. We had fish and chips (I grew up having fish and chips on Good Friday as a Catholic). Since I am going through such a radical paradigm change, I am not sure about my thoughts any more about Good Friday. I know what it stands for still and I acknowledge it and Easter as very significant events in my faith. I just haven’t put the emotions into it yet. I’m still trying to grasp it. If feels like it needs to be so much for to me than just one weekend. I’m mulling it over. (Because that’s what I do as a radical over-thinker!)
I got up today after just over 5-hour sleep (I had a latte around 8:30 oops). I got tons done though! Kitchen done, supper in the crock pot, the salad made, back room cleaned (after our nice flood), and now laundry is going. I love cooking to podcasts now and I finally found a great one that I will binge listen to for a while. The Liturgists. I love them. I love their chemistry and the fact that as of the first three episodes…no bashing of other Christians. I don’t have a problem with people having different radical views and I will even listen to them (I know what is important to me now as far as my beliefs go) but I hate the bashing that goes on. So far so good. I have been listening to a few all week and maybe in a few days, I will share about the ones I have on my Google Play Music.
I guess I will end there. I wish it was nicer out so we can enjoy going outside but I guess we will enjoy being inside. Yummy stew for supper is perfect for the cool rainy/snowy weekend. Have a super duper blessed day Friends! I will see you again, tomorrow and hopefully my blog will be up sooner. 🙂
I loves you!!!
This is such a great message! Thanks Brandon for sharing your wisdom!
A certain man was walking through a salvage yard and discovered an expensive, one-of-a-kind car sitting in a field of broken, busted, and forgotten cars.
The salvage yard manager approached the man, who was now inspecting the new car with intrigue and delight.”What are you looking for?” quizzed the manager.
Still mesmerized by such a conspicuous diamond-in-the-rough, the man hardly even heard the question but responded, “I have been searching for this exact car for years! Imagine my shock and surprise when I stumbled upon it in the least likely of locations!”
“It’s a real beauty and it runs like no other,” the manager retorted with his hands in his pockets and his chest puffed out, “but we’re using her for parts.”
Incredulous, the man immediately broke his gaze and sneered at the manager in disbelief.
“You’re doing what?!”
The manager continued, “Look it son, we’re a salvage yard. Everything…
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