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Day 18: 40 Day Grace Journey

via Day 18: Our Focus Determines What We Grow Into

FANTASTIC!  I love this post so much today!  Once again….it’s laid out perfectly.  On the other hand, I have to be careful I don’t see it as a to-do list.  Like Mike explains, this is what will naturally happen because of Christ in you.  That’s such a huge difference to me and yet when I look at it, I can see I am still a child mainly.  I see glimmers of a young adult and that gives me hope but I also can see why I am still at the child stage.  I’m ok with this, mostly.  As long as I see it for what it is then I will be fine.  I sometimes wonder if and how depression  can change some of this.  It’s hard to be focused on others when you are depressed.  You really have to fight your way through it.  Yeah, so I have some questions about it all, but that’s fine.  God is good with that.  🙂

Sitting here waiting for the snow.  We have a snow warning out but I don’t think we will get it as bad as they are saying.  I hope so anyways but if not…what can I do?  Shovel my way out I guess.

Have a super day friends.  Enjoy the end of another week!

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Day 17: 40 Day Grace Journey

via Day 17: What it looks like to GROW UP

Man!  I look forward to being in this stage.  I love the idea of not searching for my identity anymore and knowing and understanding and believing that it is all found in Christ.  What a day that will be!  I love how the levels are laid out to see what is what.  That is how I understand things.

It’s a mild pretty day but we still have tonnes of snow and expecting in the neighborhood of 15-20 cm more.  I know I’m not the only one tired of winter, esp when we get glimpses of Spring in days like today.  It will come though…there is hope. It’s almost mid March.

Have an amazing day friends!

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Day 16: 40 Day Grace Journey

via Day 16: You NEED friends in order to GROW!

What a timely reminder this post was today for me. As someone with much anxiety I needed to read this. I don’t think I have been focused on Christ very much at all for a long time now. I think about Him but I tend to focus on me and what stresses me out. The joys of depression. UGH! I need reminders like this to show me it doesn’t have to be the way it is right now, all the time. Christ is the author and perfector of my life and not only should I remember that but live like it too. It will make life much easier.

Have a super day friends!

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Day 15: 40 Day Grace Journey

via Day 15: WHAT are you wearing??

I can’t help it but to start this off with ” what a GREAT post!”  It is so good.  I love how Mike describes the armor of God, not as putting them on in obedience so much as they are an affirmation of who we are in Christ, our true identity.  I LOVE it a lot! and

March 9 and our tonnes of snow still isn’t melting.  I’m antsy for Spring like so many other people I know.  It’s Day Light Savings this weekend and it doesn’t even feel like it because of the snow and cold.  Enough complaining about the weather for now.  🙂

My hubby and I are on our own again this weekend.  Our youngest is going to his brother’s for the weekend.  What a crazy place in life we are.  Have a GREAT Friday friends!

 

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Day 14: 40 Days of Grace Journey

via Day 14: The Teen/Young Adult Stage

I’m so thankful I’m doing this journey again.  I had forgotten some really awesome stuff.  I like to know specifics of what I am learning and sometimes they aren’t specific enough for me.  I love this kind of topic where there are specifics.  I’m talking about the specifics of what each stage of faith involves.  ( sorry I used specifics so many times)

It’s a cold morning again but it is supposed to get nicer today and by the looks of the weather of the next couple weeks, it is looking good!  I’m so grateful for that.

Have a great day, friends!

 

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Day 13: 40 Day Grace Journey

via Day 13: Be Still And Know

Hello friends.  I missed a few days but I’m back.  I am so tired today.  I took some pain meds the last two nights.  Advil just drags me out but it helps with the pain and sleep when I need it.  Anyway…I will nap later.  🙂

I enjoyed this post so much today.  It really became clear to me the difference between head and heart knowledge.  I’ve been hearing those terms for years and I finally understand it.  It also explains to me why I have never truly GOT God in a way that was settling to me.  What I was being taught didn’t jive with who I felt I knew or who I thought God was.  There was a disconnect and I can understand why.  I’m not saying all I was taught didn’t jive but when some things don’t jive with what the Holy Spirit may be saying to you, sometimes it’s easy to throw the baby out with the bath water.  It’s a puzzling thing.  I will continue to puzzle over this today.

Have a super day my friends.  I think Spring is finally going to come to Central Alberta.  We have tonnes of snow but the sun is bright and strong.  Spring is on the horizon and I am thrilled!

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Day 12: 40 Day Grace Journey

via Day 12: I Speak To You Children

Happy Monday friends!  I love this post today.  I like to have specifics and I find this one shares that.  The next few days will be great in that way.  My life has changed a lot since I was taught my identity in Christ.  I struggle with believing it sometimes and yet I know it’s the truth and I try to walk in that truth.  So often it’s easier for me to believe it of others than for myself.  Same with the forgiveness.  The concept/the truth that God has forgiven everyone  has many Christians calling people like me ( who believe this ) heretics.  I won’t get into more of this because one thing that I have learned is if you are  in a mindset that “your way is the only( perception) and best way” then you won’t listen to any other truths and ideas.  Christianity can be a very closed minded mentality.  Not tonnes of room for grace….at least that is the experience I have had and still have.

It’s hard to believe March starts this week.  I’m so looking forward to winter being over.  It’s been a cold one and I’m ready for milder weather.  For us though, living right across the street from a Bee farm, Spring brings slow moving bees looking for warmth so they like to hang out on our decks right around the doors.  It’s kind of annoying but gets better as the weather gets warmer and the bees get moved to their fields to make honey.  My oldest son is allergic to bee stings so that has always been a concern but this will be the first Spring that he isn’t living here so I’m glad he doesn’t have to worry about that.

I will end it at that.  Have a super day friends!  I hope you know how special and loved you are by God…right this moment and I pray you can find comfort in that truth.

 

 

 

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Day 11: 40 Day Grace Journey

via Day 11: How to know you are still a child.

This is a great post.  The first time I did this I was surprised.  To be honest, I always thought I was a mature Christian because of how involved I was in my church.  It was during counseling that I realized the reason I was doing what I was doing was because I was looking for approval from God.  Nothing ever fulfilled that.  I still struggle with that to some extent but it’s different because we don’t go to church anymore.  That makes us back slidden to many Christians.

Happy Sunday friends!  It’s a beautiful day here and yet, I will do the Netflix and chill thing, maybe.  🙂  We had a great visit last night with my oldest son and his girlfriend and then finished watching Jessica Jones.  It was a late night but it was good.

Have a great day!!!

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Day 10: 40 Day Grace Journey

via Day 10: Time to Grow Up!

Hi Friends.  Happy Saturday from Sunny Alberta.  I love to see the sun and by this time of year I so crave it.  It’s pretty normal here to feel that way though, we do have sunny days in the winter but it’s so dreary.  I guess it’s better than rainy gray days, though I know others would disagree.

I slept horribly last night, most likely due to a pop I had before bed with caffeine.  But…it will be a good day anyway because my oldest son and his girlfriend are coming for supper.  I love it when they come over.  We have such great visits.  I love being friends with my kids.

Enjoy today’s post from Mike.  It’s a good one.  I sure love how he describes his church.  If  I could find one around here than preached what he preaches….I’d go back to church in a heartbeat.

Have a great day friends!

 

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Day 9: 40 Day Grace Journey

via Day 9: Acceptance Leads to Experiencing Forgiveness

Day 9 today friends.  This morning was a bad concentration day and even now, I just can’t focus so I will share it with you and hopefully later I can come back to it.

Went out with my hubby today to run some errands and now he got called to work and my son is at youth.  Just me and the pets.  It’s good.  Happy Friday friends…..and a shout out to my friend who will be boarding a ship in Melbourne in just over 2 hours.  Have a super holiday!!

 

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Day 8: 40 Day Grace Journey

via Day 8: Knowing Your Value Changes Your Behaviour

Good Morning friends. I’m tired this morning.  We are still puppy training and night time is the worse.  She’s pretty good during the day….now we have to be trained at night to help her.  The joys of puppies.  🙂

Today’s post left me with more questions about myself.   It’s weird.  Some of the reminders are good and some are just downright icky!  Anyway….I hope you can get something out of it…and if not…maybe you will just get questions to mull over in your mind.  Those are good too esp if they have you looking within yourself and asking the right questions.

You are loved…you are valued.  Have a super day!  The pic I am sharing today is one I took this morning. Gotta love myself a sunrise!

 

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I thought this was worth sharing ( talking about the picture)

The thinking patterns and filters for those of us who suffer from depression and anxiety can be different than those who don’t.  Actually, I’m pretty sure they are different.  I had to remind myself yesterday as I was copying out of list of 50 things you can control.  It’s amazing what you cannot control when the filter you see life through is depression.  It’s crazy really.  Anyway, I liked this picture I came across.  It fit well with the majority of my days….esp the high anxiety days.  I hope your day is going well friends!  Take it like I try to do…a day at a time.

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Day 7: 40 Day Grace Journey

via Day 7: A day of rest

It’s a good topic today. One I have struggled with; REST. I wrestle with how resting in Jesus looks. I overthink it too much and look for signs that I am ” doing it right.” I do pray that He will show me what He truly means. I believe it goes beyond not shopping , cooking and cleaning on Sundays. IN this day and age, that just isn’t possible for everyone anymore and I don’t think God is concerned about that.

Midweek! The days are sure going fast. Have a super duper blessed day friends!

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Day 6: 40 Day Grace Journey

via Day 6: Fitbit vs Faith-bit

Good Tuesday morning friends.  I’m tired today.  My husband and I got caught up with netflix again last night and had a very late night.  We are on a weird role which is very unusual for us.  🙂

I loved the simple prayer from today’s journey:

PRAYER

Heavenly Father, please show me how true it is that you live inside me.  please show me that you are ALWAYS near and in me.  Help me to believe this fact today!

Have a super day today in all you do…even if your day is like mine usually is…staying home.  Laundry today.  🙂

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Day 5: 40 Day Grace Journey

via Day 5: Seriously? GET RID OF THAT!!

Here it is. I missed yesterday because my husband and I took the saying ” netflix and chill” to a different level and binged watched 24 Legacy ( well, more like 12 Legacy ) and two movies and I still have two episodes left of Queer Eye. Oh my Gosh…that show is so good and I cry most of the episodes. Anyway, so I missed yesterday and truth be told, I’m sure it won’t be the last day I miss. Today’s was a tough one. It’s hard to listen to the Holy Spirit when you see yourself in the wrong light. I find it hard anyway. It’s a new week. Not much on the agenda this week but I sure hope it warms up. It’s been a cold winter and this month we have had so much snow. I’m ready for Spring in a big way. Have a great day friends.

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Day 4: 40 Day Grace Journey

via Day 4: Please Sir, I want some more!   

Hi Friends.  Happy Saturday Morning from my house in Canada.  Enjoy your day/night wherever you are and remember that God loves you RIGHT now RIGHT here.

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Day 3: 40 Day Grace Journey

via Day 3: Are You Hungry or Thirsty?

Here is Day 3 Friends.  I don’t have much to say.  My morning sucks so far.  I will say that Psalm 42 is one of my favorites and I will come back to read it better later.  Have a great day and try not to let your day get ruined like I do.  UGH……..

 

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Day 2: 40 Day Grace Journey

via DAY 2: Who Is Walking With You   

There was no reblog on Day 2 so hopefully the link above will help.  🙂  What a great reminder today was.  Not only a reminder of what I learned in the last 5 years but a reminder of the problem I have with accepting my identity in Christ.  It’s a such a huge thing to learn and “accept.”  I still have a lot of issues from my past to resolve and I think it would be easier for me to do that if I truly believed I was loved by God.  It is part of my prayer in my journal.  The message from Steve McVey was so good too.  I love him and his teachings have been so key in not only my growth but my sanity in some ways.  I pray you will find something that you need out of today’s post and continue to be thankful for the things around you and ask God to show you what you need to see.  Have a beautiful day friends!  I love you!

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DAY 1: Rise And Shine!

Day 1 friends, let’s be thankful. I know I so often sit in my weariness and forget to be thankful. I have lots to be thankful but there always seems to be a “but.” I found that today as well. I woke up feeling quite optimistic. That’s pretty uncalled for for me. In my optimism though, I was worried. Worried it would be taken away from me because I don’t know how to hold onto it. I allow others to suck it from me because I always have been like that. I am praying that during this journey, I will be able to find a way to allow that NOT to happen. Anyway, the reflection questions are best to answer in the evening so I will do that in my journal tonight. Have a super duper day friends! It a mild day temperature wise here but the snow is blowing and the roads are horrible and icy. A great day to stay in and be thankful I have a nice warm house to protect me from the elements of the weather. TTFN

A Grace Journey of Learning to Live Loved

972148_10151710051829391_945454958_nGood morning everyone.  Today is a brand new day!!  How about we rejoice, and actually be glad about it!  Today is the day to simply ‘be thankful.’  No better way to start this 40 day journey than being thankful and living in response to all that He has given us.

As you go through day one, respond with ‘thank you’ to all the things you are thankful for, or for the things God brings to your attention. Here is an example: Do you love coffee, in your mind say ‘thank you’ to Jesus as you sip away.  Open your eyes to all the things around you that you are thankful for.  At the end of the day, look back and add up all the new things you recognized today. You will be surprised.

Enjoy the bible verse below, and enjoy the Journey you experience today!

Mike Zenker

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Twas the night before…THE JOURNEY

Here it is friends, the night before the journey. I’m very excited and very nervous. I believe more than ever that God led me to this place right this moment. I encourage you to watch the video. Its good and it’s a nice way to see Mike. It is his church sermon. It is about 32 minutes long. I will post again later in the day to share a little more about today’s message and how it affected me. Enjoy and Be blessed!

A Grace Journey of Learning to Live Loved

url-1I’m assuming you have read the past three blogs, or at LEAST the previous one.  if not, go back and read it now before you continue.  If nothing else PLEASE WATCH THIS VIDEO FIRST. click HERE!!

Next step: It is important to know the purpose for doing this 40 day journey, so I’m providing you with a summary of notes describing how to participate on this journey.

There is no ‘sign up’ button, but rather you can follow on the blog, Twitter, or click ‘like’ on the Grace Walk Canada Facebook page and follow along there.  Whatever you choose, do visit the blog each day to get some ‘encouragement’….

Purpose of the 40 day Journey is:

  • Not to get closer to God
  • Not to manipulate anything from him through ‘special behavioural changes’
  • Not to diet, not to impress anyone, especially God,
  • Not to create a new ‘system’ of what I have to do…

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It’s Been a Very Long Time!

But I am back and I am going to try something.  I guess it was three years ago now that I started following a new blog at the time called A Grace Journey of Learning to Live Loved.  I had heard of Mike Zenker though Steve McVey and Grace Walk.  He is the head of Grace Walk Canada.  I haven’t gone back and listened or read any of it yet, so I’m not sure if Mike did this series because it was around the Lent season but nonetheless, He started a series called a 40 Day Faith-bit Grace Journey.  I decided tonight while I was lying in bed not being able to sleep that this is what I need to do.  I need to take this journey again and what a great idea for me to share it with you.  I will reblog them daily starting tomorrow.  The first two might be on the same day.  I will try and coincide it with Lent.  I may or may not succeed.  I will also share my thoughts…maybe and I pray that I will be able to do this.  Depression and Anxiety have had a hold on me for so long and stolen so much from me.  I just want it back.  No, I don’t what what I had back, I want more.  The struggle is real friends, but I will do this and as the days go by I will explain to you why it is important for me to do this.  I don’t usually do posts at night and publish them but tonight I will.  It feels nice to type again and maybe through this journey, I can learn to be transparent and actually do some of the writing I so desire to do.  Good night precious friends.  It’s good to be back!

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My View 004

A beautiful sunset tonight!  I love sunsets.  They make me feel calmer.

We have this owl sitting in our yard to scare birds away from our sewer.  I didn’t realize he was so creepy.  I think it’s working!  🙂

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Book I am Reading 002

Bell, Rob. How to Be Here: A Guide to Creating a Life Worth Living (p. 43). HarperCollins. Kindle Edition.

 

If you focus on who you aren’t, and what you don’t have, or where you haven’t been, or skills or talents or tools or resources you’re convinced aren’t yours, precious energy will slip through your fingers that you could use to do something with that blinking line.

 

 

 

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God Loves You..Yippers He Truly Does!

One of the things that I find so disappointing about Christianity these days is the fact that we are so busy ousting people and working on including people that we aren’t sharing with people who they are and how loved they are. I guess in its own way, inclusion can be considered love. I would put that on the individual person because not everyone and everything promoting inclusion is doing it because they truly love… Having POWER is huge!

Since I have left facebook I have been on twitter and listening to Progressive Christian podcasts. I have enjoyed what I have been learning and a lot of the outrage makes more sense to me but like some of the Conservative Christians who are so angry at the Progressives…some of the Progressives are just as angry at the Conservatives and I personally find that tiresome to read, on both sides ( and friend, I can see and even agree with the outrage on both sides).  I see hate among different kinds of Christians.  It makes me very sad.

One very important thing that I learned in my counselling was that God loves me. It wasn’t said to me as a bible verse or in passing. It was explained to me that He really really LOVES me and if I was the only person on this earth, He would have still died..for just me. When you are in a place that you’ve hit rock bottom. A place that is so dark and all you feel for yourself is hate and contempt…words like that are not easy to hear and definitely not believable. When you hear this every week in counselling and sometimes in a text or two during the week from someone you trust and someone you see living what he is sharing with you…it eventually starts taking possibility in your mind.

Why do I share this? I don’t know. I guess I am looking for something. I guess I am searching for answers. As I write this I wonder to myself “what nerve do I have judging how other people live and explain their journeys? What nerve do I have complaining that I have heard but one person and one podcast episode that address *this? What nerve do I have when I don’t even do it?” It’s easy to complain about not finding something but like the saying goes…and I have said it before as have many others “Be the change you want to see.” Interestingly enough this goes right back to something I have been thinking about the last few days and I started a blog on it. It will be a while until it’s published though. It’s a pretty important one to me that I want to give extra time and care to.

Really though, it comes down to knowing who “YOU” are in Christ and from there the rest will flow. When you know how truly loved you are, to the very core of your soul…when you know that Christ indwells IN YOU…THAT is when you can make the biggest difference. That is when you know what it is like to truly love everyone including those who don’t believe the same way you do. I don’t have it down pat. I don’t think anyone does. I still struggle with self-condemnation and shame. They are the bane of my existence and yet I know they are lies. I know I am truly loved by God for who I am right now. No one can love me like He does. I still struggle when I look at myself in the mirror. I don’t know if I will ever have freedom from these lies and how they make me feel but I know that I have come a very long way in 5 years and I know when I look at others I see them totally different than how I used to. Somehow I can see them through the lens of Christ. I am using my Christ filter. That whole idea that the fruits flow out of us…that the love of God is like a fountain and reaches others…I can see that and I like it. I don’t always know what to do about it. It sucks being an introvert that suffers from massive social anxiety, but I feel that God has a pretty exciting plan for me. I have no idea what it is, but I know it will involve loving others because He First Loved Me.

*You are loved….truly, 100% loved.

Stay tuned as I write more on this. This is what is mulling around in my head so I might as well get it on paper and share. Have a most fantastic weekend friend! I loves you and oh man, God loves you so much more than I can even express to you. Sometimes I feel kind of stupid sharing that because so many Christians do share it, but I mean it from the very pit of my soul where the Christ is in me and I hope that you will hear that from your very soul as well. ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

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Book I am Reading 001

Too Deep For Words: Rediscovering Lectio Divina

I was looking for a book on contemplative prayer and this is one if the three or four that were recommended to me.  So far I am really liking it.

If anyone else has some books to recommend or some thoughts on contemplative prayer, please feel free to share.

Thanks!  I loves You!

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Thursday Night Thoughts

Hi, Friend!  I am failing miserably at this whole Joy Dare Thing on here so I will end it for now.  I’m better off stopping now and carrying on rather than beating myself up, which is what I do.  I am just too tired to think.  I haven’t had a decent sleep for weeks ( literally) and depression is at my door the last few days so frankly, all my energy is being used to keep it at bay.  I have never been a good sleeper.  The years that Wally was drinking, I not only didn’t sleep but I had major anxiety too.  I still get night time anxiety but not near as bad as it used to be.  I wonder if this is one of these things that is part of healing?  It seems like it never ends, but freedom is worth fighting for so I keep on keeping on.

I was reading our local obituaries and noticed that a lovely lady that I loved passed away this week.  She was 98 turning 99 in August.  Our birthdays are the same month but she is exactly 50 years older than me.  We celebrated them together two years in a row a few years ago.  It made me kind of sad but it made me remember her too and the time we spent together…going for meals and praying.  She was sweet.  ❤

I guess that’s about it.  I thought I had more to say and maybe I would have if I had written my blog first before listening to an episode of The Inglorious Pasterds. 🙂  Now I am just too bagged.  It is 10:32 and I might just head to bed which is very unusual for me since I don’t usually go to bed until between 12 and 1 am.  I figure there is no point laying in bed staying awake for hours on end.  I have started using oils and night and putting relaxing meditation music on.  Can’t hurt, right?

Good night friend!  I’ll post a couple pics I took last night.  I loves you!

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What I Learned From the Inglorious Pasterds

It’s so easy to look at only the surface people and judge them, just on what we see and hear and that moment. I would say that I have experienced this in a negative way, both individually and as a couple with Wally ( more about that another time).

What makes me think about this is a Podcast that I have grown to LOVE. It is called the Inglorious Pastereds and they are what I would call Progressive Christians. It would be nice if we didn’t have to label people but as I am finding out, there are all kinds of people that call themselves Christians and they are quite different from each other in beliefs. Truth is, I don’t even hardly know what a Christian is anymore. I do know that Jesus wasn’t one.

Anyway, the first time I listened to these guys I was quite shocked and didn’t listen to them for a while. As I started to notice they came up on my feed more and more on Twitter I decided to give them another listen. I am so glad I did. You see…I don’t like cursing or drinking and because of that, I didn’t listen to them anymore. I hear cursing at home all the time and Wally was a drunk (his words) for most of our marriage up until two years ago. I didn’t want to hear it on a podcast. I’m glad I got over the hump and listened to them because they have really changed a lot about me, in the way I think (in a good way) and the way I look at the world and God. I swear that we as a society are just looking for reasons to not like each other. It’s so sad that we don’t even give some people a chance just because they communicate something different than we do and in a different way.

I love what God is doing in me. I love that my mind has become open enough that I can listen to others who communicate their truth in a different way that I do because I am learning new things. The hardest and most painful thing about a paradigm switch is the deconstruction but there is beauty and awe as construction happens in the midst of it and you learn the truth and you know it’s the Truth! I love that it’s the Holy Spirit who guides me into my new and different beliefs and out of my old. That is how I know it is the Truth. I also know as time goes on and maybe I share more, that some of my Conservative Christian friends will have problems with what I believe and I know I may even lose some of their friendship ( as we are already)  but as I have learned:

What has been seen, cannot be unseen; What has been heard, cannot be unheard; There is no looking back.

My friend, I loves ya!

Check these guys out if you dare.  Consider yourself warned.  You might just learn something new and you might die from laughing, all in one podcast.  They are on itunes and most podcast places.

The Inglorious Pasterds

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Joy Dare Notes

It’s an interesting thing, this Gratitude challenge.  It is Day 6 and out of 6, I missed 2.  The whole idea of looking for something, in particular, is kind of a hard thing to get used to. After I am done writing this blog I will use my weekly Joy Dare list as the background on my phone; then I will see it and remember.  It’s like starting a new habit.  I won’t chalk this up to failure yet.

It’s a beautiful Saturday here in Central Alberta.  My husband is working today ( and tomorrow).  My kids are both sleeping.  It’s so normal calling them “my kids” and yet when I do that on social media it makes them sound younger than they are.  They are 20 and 17.  I don’t plan to wake them up anytime soon ( it’s 10:30).  No huge plans today.  I might do a load or two of laundry and I need to go into town for a few things.  That’s about it.  I don’t lead a real exciting life.  🙂

Our landlords should be bringing their cows over soon.  We usually get them in Spring until Fall.  We love having them around.  We are kind of cow nerds ( my husband more than I).

Oh yeah.  Yesterday I sent in school registration for the very last time!  Grade 12.  With all the changes happening to homeschooling in Alberta, I am so thankful we are getting out of it now.  It’s way easier to come into these changes rather than being in the system already, set on a certain way of doing things and then all of a sudden having to change.  I agree with some of the changes but disagree with others.  Luckily, for us, we can do things the same we have all the way through high school.

Well, that’s enough rambling for now.  Have a great day friend!  Don’t forget how loved and amazing you are.  I loves you!

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It’s safe to say that…

Spring is here!  The trees are budding, the grass is turning green, the temperature yesterday got to 28 celsius ( 82 F ) and today is supposed to be warmer.  Last night we slept with the window open and I was woke up twice by the coyotes.  I’m pretty sure they were in our yard very close.  Duke went wild ( the feature picture is of Duke on my pillow trying to look out the window) and I could hear Massey wake up too.  It kind of freaked me out that they were so close.  I imagine once the cows are here, they won’t be around as much.  We will see.  Our first Spring and Summer here they were around and used to watch Duke and I out walking.  We would see them watching us and Duke would bark at them.  I got freaked out when the one barked and howled back at him.  Last Spring and Summer not so much.  I think we got Massey in the late Spring so he kept them at bay.  Now, this Spring we have shop cats.  Two of them, outside cats.  Wally figures that is why they are around ( and the fact that Dukey is a little dog).  We have to keep Massey on a rope because he has started wandering off.  His nose and taste pallets have taken him to the Tees Bees Farm right across the road from us.  So yeah, he has to be tied up now.

This is country life.  I love it, even with the coyotes.  I’ll just be happy they aren’t wolves!  We don’t get them around here.  Whew!

Have a super Friday friend!  I hope where you are the weather is sunny.  Somehow, a sunny day makes life just a tiny bit better.  I loves you!

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Personal Space: Writing Prompt

Personal space:

To what extent is your blog a place for your own self-expression and creativity vs. a site designed to attract readers? How do you balance that? If sticking to certain topics and types of posts meant your readership would triple, would you do it?

I love this question. I will admit, I like the idea of people following my blog. If I didn’t I would write a journal or a diary. Obviously, in my own mind, I would like to think that I am not the only one that struggles with the issues I struggle with and just simply try to live life in and among the chaos of life and this world we live in. So far on my blog, I have been somewhat transparent about some things but I am hoping as time goes on I will be able to do that more. Not for the readers so much, but for me in my own healing of my past.

Also, as my faith and spiritual life are deconstructing and reconstructing with the new and amazing, I would love to share that kind of stuff too but fear will hold me back because I know some (most)  of my evangelical friends will not understand and think I am going bonkers. Yes, fear still has a hold on me in areas but I am learning that it takes time for some of this stuff to change in me.

Since this blog is still kind of new, I’m still not sure what I want of it and how I want it to evolve. I guess all I can do is be me and just continue writing the way I write and share as I see fit.

I love the last question: If sticking to certain topics and types of posts meant your readership would triple, would you do it? I would not do it if the topics did not define who I was. As much as I like numbers of who follows my blog (I think I am at 33…THANK YOU!) I don’t think I would be able to sacrifice me, my beliefs JUST for a bigger readership. I use this blog to work things out in my own mind too. My thinking is maybe someone else is there too.

As a summary, I don’t know where this blog will go. I don’t know what it will become and I don’t even know who it is for, really. I have it because I want to write and as I write I learn and as I learn I write ( sometimes ). I say sometimes because I have problems writing things I don’t totally understand because my words don’t come out very good. Since I write the way I think, it sounds all muddled and stuff. Maybe I will get the nerve to eventually share and write more of what I am learning right now, but for now, I will go on a day by day basis. Every once in a while an idea hits me for a blog post ( I write it in my book). This one is a prompt and it nudged me to think. I like that.

Hopefully, you can make your way through this and understand. If not, I’m sorry. My mind is muddled and guess what, it’s quite normal for me! I loves you!

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May 2 Joy Dare

3 Gifts Flat:

  1. I bought an Amazon card today and proceeded to get some Kindle books.
  2. I’m tired.  I am looking forward to laying down flat tonight.  🙂
  3. This amazing note from my youngest son:   20170501_100925(I did his laundry but told him the note only works once!)  🙂
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May 1 Joy Dare

3 Gifts Tasted:

  1. Amazing roast beef I cooked in the crock pot for Family Night
  2.  never mind the awesome and easiest dessert ever of Rainbow Peanut Butter Squares
  3. My favorite snack Smartfood White Cheddar Popcorn

Sorry I didn’t get pictures.  Trust me though, they were amazing!  

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Day 30: Thoughts on the Last Thirty Day

There is something amazing about coffee. Something that makes so many people drink it first thing in the morning. Caffeine I imagine but besides that. For me, it is the yummy taste and just the whole idea that once I sit down for my coffee it is ok to start planning my day or at least thinking about it. I have taken the dogs for a walk and fed them and the cats (and took care of Massey and his cone of shame). I have done dishes and now I have given myself permission to sit and have a cup of coffee and a piece of cold pizza. I have been thinking about how I would write this post so here goes. 🙂

I am feeling pretty fine today. 30 days in a row (minus one) of writing/blogging. I have divulged more of myself than I was planning but some things you just can’t plan. I have been disciplined about sitting here every morning and writing. A couple of the posts I did write ahead time but for the most part, I wrote them that morning. I think in the future I will continue to do that but mix it in with a some that are planned ahead of time. I’ll just go with it. 🙂 It really worked with me to have a prompt to go with so I might just continue to use that for some writing ideas. I am still trying to find my mojo as a writer so I will try different things.

I love the thought that I finished Camp NaNoWriMo. I might have planned my intentions wrong so I may not get a badge ( oh, poor me) but I don’t really relish the thought of going through my blogs one by one and copying and pasting them to get a word count at the Camp. It’s not that worth it. I don’t need a badge anyway. I set a goal and finished it. That’s good enough for me. Actually, I took a screen shot and will use it as my feature picture. Very cool!

Well friend, thanks for being on the journey with me. I am looking forward to our continued journeys wherever and whatever they might be. It’s April 30, 2017, and it’s a GREAT day to be alive! I loves you!

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Day 29: Do I Have Specific Blog Plans For May?

I actually do. It is more of a Gratitude thing though. I will share three things a day that I am grateful for ( I will call it The Joy Dare). I will be following a list that is based on the book One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where you are written by Ann Voskamp. I will also link to her website that has the place where you can see her lists for the whole year or month by month.  I will post a graphic of the week ahead of time so you can follow along if you want.  I posted the first one today and will post it again May 1.  Actually, I will use it as my feature post all week.

What I like about this idea, is it challenges me to look for certain gifts. Ann calls them gifts. You can call them what you want. Some of them are straightforward and some of them you will have to look for or watch for. That is why I will post them in the evening, instead of the morning. I tried to post the April blogs in the morning.

So, in a way, it’s a little easier and yet different than blogging a topic every day. I am researching some blog ideas and have one coming out May 1 sharing the podcasts I listen to. Something I am planning to do personally is a kind of journal. It is made to be a 5-year journal and there are 365 questions to answer. I guess the point is after 5 years you can compare your answers. I haven’t looked through all the questions but I think it will be interesting. You can find that on my Pinterest. Go to my Writing section or else you can message me and I can send you a link. I think it looks pretty interesting and who knows, maybe some of the questions will be a blog idea. That’s what is in May and then, whatever else kind of inspiration hits me.

So, my hubby is away for the weekend and his dog is at home with me wearing the cone of shame. I thought I might have to take him to the vet this morning but I can’t see what the vet will tell me to do that I am not doing already except maybe give me expensive antibiotics…just in case. Unfortunately, the cone fell off last night so it looks pretty nasty but I think if I can stop him from scratching today it might be ok. I’m sure if dogs thought the same way our kids do when they are teenagers and mom is being overbearing and annoying, Massey is not having great thoughts today. He misses Wally pretty bad too so I’m sure he is depressed too.  20170428_163349

I love our Massey dog, but he has been way more high maintenance that I would like in a dog. I think I prefer little dogs over big ones and yet Wally wants to get more big ones. I have told him I would have nothing to do with any more big dogs. I guess we will see what happens. He is thinking about them for deterring people from coming in our yard to rob us. The crime is so bad right now in Rural Alberta. It’s nuts. I just don’t want any more dogs.

It’s a lovely day! The sun is shining and the snow is finally all gone. It’s kind of nice that Wally was able to get away with his brother this weekend. They went to visit their mom and siblings about 15 hours away. With it starting to finally be nice, once things dry up some the farmers will be going out and Wally will be busy doing small or big repairs. The only time he really gets a break from work is when he is away from home so the timing is so perfect. The rain and snow we have had the last few weeks have played into his plans good this weekend.

Last night my youngest son and I watched the first movie in the Lord of the Rings Trilogy. It is called The Fellowship of the Rings and we watch the extended version so it was 208 minutes PLUS breaks. We will watch The Two Towers today and it is 223 minutes. The Return of the King is 251 minutes. I’m looking forward to them but when you include breaks onto the length, it gets to be a long time but it’s good. It is time well spend. My son LOVES those movies and so do I. I guess that is what we will do today or tonight. Wally is due home early Monday morning or something like that.

I guess that is long enough. Have a GREAT day friend. Don’t forget how amazing you are and just how loved you are! I loves you!

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Day 28: My Perfect Day

Now I feel like I should make a list of all things that would make my day perfect. Well, if there is one thing that I don’t do, that is answer questions in obvious ways. 🙂 The way I see it, why would I make up my mind today what a perfect day is? My Massey dog has to wear the cone of shame and he keeps trying to scratch him off and I keep having to do it up; my husband is away for the weekend and I am quite dependent on him in a lot of ways…..can today still be a perfect day despite these setbacks for me? If I have a quota, they can’t. If I live in the moment and I try to live out of who I am in Christ, then today can be a perfect day.

I used to try and imagine the perfect day. There were times I would think my perfect day was time away from my kids…that didn’t work. I missed them too much. There were times I would think my perfect day was time away from my whole family. I missed them too much though the times I did do that, they were pretty needed. That didn’t make it a perfect day though.

I’d like to imagine a perfect day in a tiny home, writing. The problem with that is focus ( more like a lack of focus). A full day of writing would not happen here. How about a perfect day being you do whatever you want, whenever you want. That sounds kind of selfish.  I need to take care of someone or something.

What I would like is for today to be my perfect day. The day that I live TODAY. Even if my circumstances SUCK. To some it up for me, a perfect day is a day that I can look back on and say

– I did the best I could with what I had.

– I learned something new today

– I did the next best thing no matter how small it was

– I am alive, therefore my purpose is still alive.

– I am loved!

Do you have a perfect day friend? Never feel bad or selfish because you answer a question different than I do. Remember, this is my blog so I talk a lot about me. It gets kind of old for me. 🙂

Have a super duper perfect day! If you want to read some really great uplifting quotes, google Winnie the Pooh quotes. Oh my heart! I loves you!

I loves you, friend!  ❤