“Grace doesn’t depend on suffering to exist, but where there is suffering you will find grace in many facets and colors.”
― William Paul Young,
Hi, Friend! I am failing miserably at this whole Joy Dare Thing on here so I will end it for now. I’m better off stopping now and carrying on rather than beating myself up, which is what I do. I am just too tired to think. I haven’t had a decent sleep for weeks ( literally) and depression is at my door the last few days so frankly, all my energy is being used to keep it at bay. I have never been a good sleeper. The years that Wally was drinking, I not only didn’t sleep but I had major anxiety too. I still get night time anxiety but not near as bad as it used to be. I wonder if this is one of these things that is part of healing? It seems like it never ends, but freedom is worth fighting for so I keep on keeping on.
I was reading our local obituaries and noticed that a lovely lady that I loved passed away this week. She was 98 turning 99 in August. Our birthdays are the same month but she is exactly 50 years older than me. We celebrated them together two years in a row a few years ago. It made me kind of sad but it made me remember her too and the time we spent together…going for meals and praying. She was sweet. ❤
I guess that’s about it. I thought I had more to say and maybe I would have if I had written my blog first before listening to an episode of The Inglorious Pasterds. 🙂 Now I am just too bagged. It is 10:32 and I might just head to bed which is very unusual for me since I don’t usually go to bed until between 12 and 1 am. I figure there is no point laying in bed staying awake for hours on end. I have started using oils and night and putting relaxing meditation music on. Can’t hurt, right?
Good night friend! I’ll post a couple pics I took last night. I loves you!
I love this. It is so well said.
Let’s just start with this.
If you are a person who identifies as a Christian, but who constantly feels the burden of religious expectation, the weight of following all the rules in order to be a “Good Christian,” or the anxiety of never doing enough to “get to heaven” (and I know there are many of you out there), I have one thing to say to you.
Lay it all down.
You were never meant to carry such a heavy burden in this life. You were not purposed for holding up such an impossible weight. You were not created to live in such a state of perpetual anxiety.
And do not let anyone, not even the leaders of your churches, try to convince you otherwise.
For the entire biblical narrative is a grand, sweeping movement over thousands of years documenting people continually misunderstanding the nature and character of God and what…
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It’s so easy to look at only the surface people and judge them, just on what we see and hear and that moment. I would say that I have experienced this in a negative way, both individually and as a couple with Wally ( more about that another time).
What makes me think about this is a Podcast that I have grown to LOVE. It is called the Inglorious Pastereds and they are what I would call Progressive Christians. It would be nice if we didn’t have to label people but as I am finding out, there are all kinds of people that call themselves Christians and they are quite different from each other in beliefs. Truth is, I don’t even hardly know what a Christian is anymore. I do know that Jesus wasn’t one.
Anyway, the first time I listened to these guys I was quite shocked and didn’t listen to them for a while. As I started to notice they came up on my feed more and more on Twitter I decided to give them another listen. I am so glad I did. You see…I don’t like cursing or drinking and because of that, I didn’t listen to them anymore. I hear cursing at home all the time and Wally was a drunk (his words) for most of our marriage up until two years ago. I didn’t want to hear it on a podcast. I’m glad I got over the hump and listened to them because they have really changed a lot about me, in the way I think (in a good way) and the way I look at the world and God. I swear that we as a society are just looking for reasons to not like each other. It’s so sad that we don’t even give some people a chance just because they communicate something different than we do and in a different way.
I love what God is doing in me. I love that my mind has become open enough that I can listen to others who communicate their truth in a different way that I do because I am learning new things. The hardest and most painful thing about a paradigm switch is the deconstruction but there is beauty and awe as construction happens in the midst of it and you learn the truth and you know it’s the Truth! I love that it’s the Holy Spirit who guides me into my new and different beliefs and out of my old. That is how I know it is the Truth. I also know as time goes on and maybe I share more, that some of my Conservative Christian friends will have problems with what I believe and I know I may even lose some of their friendship ( as we are already) but as I have learned:
What has been seen, cannot be unseen; What has been heard, cannot be unheard; There is no looking back.
My friend, I loves ya!
Check these guys out if you dare. Consider yourself warned. You might just learn something new and you might die from laughing, all in one podcast. They are on itunes and most podcast places.