I had to stop and cry in the middle of cutting vegetables tonight. I became so overwhelmed at how special it was and how special I felt to be so loved by my grandson, Donovan. I went shopping today with him and his mama. I went along so I could keep him occupied in secondhand stores. Frankly, I loved it. He is such a well behaved boy when we are out.
While I was cutting vegetables, I went though my day in my head. I thought of the times that Dono played shy and how it was me that he clung to ( just because I was closest out of me and his mom). I’m not saying he chose me over his mom, I’m saying that I was good enough and that he felt safe with me. That is who and what I want to be and what I want to provide….safety.
I was in a self-compassion workshop this week. We talked about values and we talked about learning to love ourselves the way we are loved by someone else. When I think of the way that Dono looked to me for safety and love today, it really overwhelmed me on this realm as well. Could I really learn to love myself that much?
I think I will stay on this path. It felt really good to be loved that way. Can you even imagine how good it would feel if I could always feel that loved, by me?
I’m tired of my thoughts this week so I thought I would introduce you to some of the things in my life that make me laugh, smile and run. Our grandson was born January 2020, just before the shutdowns happened because of covid-19. We decided that he needed a petting zoo, so we made him one. It’s been a learning curve for my husband and I and to be honest, it’s also given us something to agree with each other about. Trust me, we needed something. So it’s been good on many levels.
Our two pigs are momma and daughter and their names are Penny and Diamond. The black goat is Blackie and the brown one is ( wait for it, wait for it….) Brownie!! We are looking forward to our Grandson and his soon to be brother to get bigger so they can name the animals. LOL The geese are a family of 5; Oscar and Emma and the kids. They will get named eventually. We have 3 adult ducks…Hal and his two wives, Grey and Blue. We are hopeless namers. Thank god we were better when it came to naming our kids. LOL There are 7 adolescent ducks, not named yet. What would you name a duck? We have 3 roosters named Huey, Duey and Lewy. The one here is Huey. He’s king pin and likes to try to chase people. He attacks my legs when I’m wearing shorts ( guess he doesn’t like my white legs) and he has brought down my grandson twice. What a cock. The horse is Daisy and she is blind in one eye. We’ve had her for a while. I think she really likes the company. The dogs are Fergie (the doberman) and Duke. Duke is still considered a puppy. He will be 2 in November. He’s coming around. He’s a great guard dog and loves to party with our neighbors on the weekends. We also have 3 baby turkeys. As they get bigger I’ll get more pics of them.
So this is my life. I like this part of it. In the chaos of covid, my sweet friends here have brought me peace, mostly. Thanks for letting me share. Have a super great week.
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