Day 9: The Meaning Behind My Blog Name

Interestingly enough, someone asked me about that last week. I am afraid it isn’t a very interesting answer. The truth of the matter is that I have had this blog for approximately 4 years now but I have never blogged on it. I had been using Blogger for years and I actually just deleted it last week. I made the blog with WordPress around the same time I made a Tumblr account and they were both made with the intent of finding a way to deal with my depression through writing. Wordly Random was a name I chose because it gave me permission to write about anything I wanted. Random words. There is a psychology to it that obviously didn’t work for me otherwise I would have used it. lol I guess I found it hard switching over from Blogger plus I was a little intimidated with getting started and learning something new. Now that I look back, I see that I was majorly damaged in the fact that I wasn’t even able to write. Maybe what I had to say back then didn’t matter? I still don’t think what I have to say matters to anyone else. I do all my writing for me now and I give God all the glory. If anyone is blessed or just plain impressed by anything I have to share, that to me is a BONUS!  ♥

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

Happy Sunday! I loves you!

Day 8: Someone Who Inspires Me

A few people come to mind when with this question. In fact, there are two people in my life that are total inspirations to me that I was going to write about. I have decided not to. They know who they are and I try to tell them and show them often. There are some things and for some reasons that it is too precious and sweet to me to share. Maybe one day.

Instead I will write about three people whom I see daily and that would be my family. The older they all get it seems the more I am inspired by them. I will be honest and say that it’s a fairly new thing for me to be inspired by my husband but when I see how he has overcome alcoholism and I see that others who are still drinking are reaching out to him not only for help it seems but to be his friend( and perhaps have the peace that he does), I am so proud of him. I also see him as a new man since we have been on our spiritual journey…Grace Journey I call it. It just amazes me that he is so patient with me. That is very inspiring to me. I always wished and dreamed for the day that he was “the spiritual leader” in the house and now I see just how ridiculous I was in wanting that. I wanted what I saw that others had as a “spiritual leader.” Now I know that that isn’t the way it is. He teaches me the most by what he stays silent about and what he does talk about he is well informed about. I am so proud of him. He Inspires Me.

My oldest son (20 years old) is a welder in training and a comedian. In fact he took his brother out and was performing last night when I wrote this. I think his biggest fan is his little brother. ❤ Even though I don’t agree with everything he says and does; even though he still stresses me out, I am more and more proud of him asI see how he makes some of his decisions and choices and why he does some of the things he does. He is such a hard worker and from the time he started working for the family business almost four years ago he has grown in leaps and bounds in his welding and other mechanics. He is go getter and since the time he turned 18 he has been chasing his dream to become a famous comedian. He has improved in that as well. Truth be told, I have never seen him perform. I am afraid of not laughing. Oh the joys of being a mom to a comedian. Not only that, I think I give his some good material. Lol He Inspires Me.

My youngest son is 17. He does not have his driver’s license yet but once he does I think he will be working elsewhere. He isn’t so much interested in the family business. I guess we will see. He is able to get his license in September of this year. I have this fear as a homeschool teacher that he won’t know enough for “life”. Kind of silly but it’s about my own insecurities. My goodness, the things that boy knows just blows me away and come out at the most opportune times. Of course the joke is he learned it on either The Simpsons or Corner Gas. Maybe it’s not a joke. Lol He makes me laugh. He has a great sense of humour like his brother and loves to go to the shows that are not in a bar (since he isn’t 18 years old yet). He loves helping people and has a unique way of making them feel like they are important. I love that about him and it seems that many people do including people he has just met. He Inspires Me.

In this time of life when my family can and do put up with my depression, my moods, my being a worried mom and wife, me just being crazy ole me…I love them more than I ever thought I could love any human beings. I know I drive them nuts most of the time but I know they let me because they want to eat and for me to take care of their home needs (within reason as the kids can do and so much themselves). We have a good thing going with mutual love and respect.

I love where we are at life right now. I love how we can all be friends and yet the respect for me as Mom is still there. I like to think I had a hand in that but I’m ok if I didn’t. I’m just so happy that I am inspired by my family. They Inspire Me.

Have a Great day friends and have fun this weekend!  I Loves You!

Day 4: Someone I Have Always Wanted To Meet And…UGH!

You know, I have wracked my brain on this one. You would think since I picked the questions I would pick ones I knew my answer to already. WHAT was I thinking? Lol I will give a shout out to my friend Rosemary in Australia. I would LOVE to meet her and hopefully one day, that will happen. For now though, I am thankful for the interweb so we can stay in touch. I love her muchly!!

There is only one other thing that comes to my mind regarding this, and that is: another question. I LOVE musicals. Right from the time I was a little kid, I always wished that life was like a musical in the sense that we would sing to each other. I know some of you are way better singers than some of us but if it was a “norm” would we even notice that in that respect? I wouldn’t want to take away from amazing singers but it wouldn’t have to. Singing would be talking and better singers could still do it for a living. The only that would change was every once in a while we would break into song. Yes, I’m a dork.

I’m afraid I don’t have tonnes of inspiration today, even to just sit here and write. It’s a beautiful day but I sense depression on my doorstep. I always know when it is there and as it comes closer so I know now is the time to fight it unless  I’m too late and it comes in. Being in a depression state isn’t the worse thing ( anxiety is WAY worse IMHO). Sometimes I even welcome it like an old friend. It’s so weird. I hate depression yet sometimes I love it. I guess in a way it has become natural. It has become a natural state and when I’m not depressed I sometimes am even lost because it feels so unnatural to me. Depression is different for everyone and where some people ( a lot of people actually ) have chosen to poeticize it, I choose not to because I don’t believe depression deserves that. Just because I welcome it ( sometimes )and just because we talk about it more and “accept“ it, I still believe that, like cancer, it isn’t a normal and natural state. We don’t poeticize cancer, in fact, we HATE cancer. I hate depression and in my mind, in my own body, in my own state, I see it as a weakness in me. I don’t feel that way about others, but I see a weakness and fear in me and the result is depression. Friends, this is my personal opinion on my own depression. There is nothing that annoys me more than when I see the lists of things to do “when you are depressed.“ HELLO. Depression takes so much away including a desire to even get better. Even to learn all that ahead of time, it just doesn’t work. The hardest thing to do when you are depressed is to take that “next step.“ But you know what, that is the only thing I can do and sometimes that next step is just getting out of bed.

Anyway, I’m not sure where that came from. I guess I went with it. I have an appointment tomorrow and I imagine I might feel better or worse after it. I will just repeat to myself that I will not judge myself on my health and the things I don’t do right with it. I will just do better next time.

Toodles friends! Have an amazing day! I loves you!

Day 1: Introduction to the Challenge

Day 1 for Camp NaNoWriMo

For this month I am blogging. My goal is to blog daily for the whole month of April. I also hope to blog at least 500 words per post and I am following a “list” that you can see in this post. 🙂 It is a list that I made up taking ideas off of other lists because to be honest, I love lists! One thing that I do not love though is long blogs so I am curious to see just how long 500 words is. I lose focus easy (  it seems ) so unless I am reading a book, I shy away from blogs that look long. Ok, if there are pictures in it and if I know you or have loved something else you have written, then, I “may” read a long blog. As a rule though, I don’t.

There are a few reasons that I chose to do Camp NaNoWrMo and actually I think that is a question for later in the month but I will share a reason now as well. Feb and March I did monthly Challenges. I did The Minimalism Game. It was good for me to be focused on something like that for the month and that is why I am here. I want to step up my game for writing ( and making sure I write daily). Some days are hard for me to write because of my depression. Even when I have something to say, I just can’t put it on paper ( or my screen). It’s a struggle but it’s life. I am hoping that I will be able to stay focused enough on writing everyday for this challenge that I can break through the depression. That’s my goal anyway.

I was filled with joy weeks ago that my writing seemed to have been revived once I quit Facebook. I am so so happy to say that it is still the case. I have had writers block literally for years. Which brings me up another reason I am here…to celebrate! My time for writing has come. My kids don’t need me hovering over them anymore and well, my husband…he does but one out of three isn’t bad. Lol

Camp NaNoWriMo is an extension from November’s NaNoWriMo. I believe there are two Camps; one in April and one in July. They encourage not only novels but other projects as well. I didn’t see where they had blogging listed but I thought that was what I wanted to do because that is what I am writing right now. It makes sense.

So here I am, Day 1 and almost 500 words ( 441 as of the first bracket). Good to know how long 500 words is. I know I can so this all month and I will, as well as other blogging as I so see fit.

Friends, have a wonderful April 1 ( and that is no joke!)

Do something that excites you today!!!! Make your inner child laugh. I loves you!

Move It! NOT!

Oh man.  It is definitely not a move it, move it, move it kind of day!  It’s cold and windy out so the only place a person really wants to be is bed, right from the get go. BUT…I had to get up this morning to take my Dukey dog in for a grooming at 9am.  I decided to use this time to get my bloodwork done so that required fasting which I started at 8:30 last night.  I slept horribly ( as usual ) and wasn’t sure if I was able to take an advil so I didn’t.  ( RATS!  I forgot to ask the nurse this morning if I can next time ).  So…it is 1 pm and I am so just draggy to the core!  I have lots of dishes to do from last night still.  I guess a nap will have to be my reward for doing them.  Sweeping and mopping the floor will have to wait until tomorrow.  This is my life.  🙂  Boring…sometimes, but I like it, mostly.

Smile, even if you don’t feel like it!  I loves you!