Loving Me

Above is a pic of the flowers that are left from the flowers I bought for myself a week and half ago. I have been wanting to buy them for over a year and this is how long it has taken me. I’m so glad I took the plunge. In therapy, I am working through self-criticism and self-hate issues. Knowing what my love language is, is helping me to be nicer and kinder to myself. I don’t think I could have start the journey of self-love without first figuring out why I don’t like myself. That has been another journey and a half but it all makes sense to me now.

This past January ( along with other daily journals I write in) I started something called ” Loving Myself.” Basically, I am cheering myself on and soothing myself when needed. I’m reminding myself who I truly am and that I am indeed worth loving and standing up for. I found myself having to advocate for myself and my importance and worth this week. I was sad and disappointed that I had to do it, especially since it was to someone who is supposed to love me. Nonetheless, I did it because I realize no one else will. I’m glad I did. I hope it worked.

So, do I love myself?

Not yet.

Am I kind to myself?

I‘m not hateful but I have come a long way.

Do I write in my Loving Myself journal everyday?

Yes, but if I can’t think of anything positive to say, I will remind myself that it’s ok.

Will I buy myself more flowers?

You betcha I will! 100%

TTFN

Lex

Day 8: Camp NoNoWriMo

Hello Friends! Another Monday and another new week! I will continue today with a couple more self care things I do. I have talked about apps but my very favorite app for self care and just all round favorite of all, is Daylio. I used the free version for a couple months and liked it so much that I bought it and it’s great. They keep upgrading it and adding new things. Basically, you keep track of your moods, activities, goals. With the premium version you can add an unlimited amount of activities and moods to it. You can be as specific as you want. I think the premium version is, once you pay it, you own it. I don’t think it is a yearly subscription. The stats in it are so cool too. I have been using it 219 days in a row. Also, there is a little spot for notes so if you want to write what you actually did that day, like a journal, it’s an option. I don’t always use it. I will write something down if it stands out to me and I want to remember.

I’ve talked about my Gratitude Daytimer. I bought a cute little daytimer from the dollar store and I write all my affirmations in it and every night I write down three things that I am thankful for. Like any thing, I would suggest not being too hard on yourself. I used to think I needed to be poetic and beautiful with not only my writing but what I’m thankful for. I’ve now accepted I write the same way I think and my thankfulness comes out that way too. It’s simple and to the point, usually.

I will end with the thing that has changed my mind the most. It’s called A Note to Your Next Day Self. I learned about this from Tracy Winchell. She has a great podcast called Reboots. She talks about it more as a business tool and the beautiful thing about this, is you can make it work for what works best for you. I hear so often about writing letters to our past self…in fact, I’m in the process of doing that right now as we speak but what I’m talking about is different. I find it has really helped me as I am learning about replacing negative talk in my head with positive. When I get really overwhelmed I find myself writing to my future self and reminding her that the negative voices are lies and affirm my worthiness. I don’t always read it the next day but I find it so healing to read through it because it’s all positive. I know I did a horrible explanation here. I will post a picture of a few days in my journal I’m willing to share. What I love about this is you can do it however you want.

Once again, be easy on yourself in whatever you decide to do. When I forget to write in my gratitude daytimer, I will write “oops” and maybe a heart. I don’t fret it. I learned too much in religion that it’s too hard to keep track of all the things you have to do…and then what happens….guilt. No more. I think the idea is to find things you like to do and give yourself grace. Shit happens. If you experience depression and anxiety like I do, you need to esp give yourself grace for as long as you need it. Sometimes, all I get done is my Daylio. I’m committed to that. Its easy and it tells me how many days in a row I’ve done it. That helps. Lol

ttfn

Alexis

Letting Go Cleans My Mind, Body and Soul: Steve Austin